But Most of All
by PanicAt221B-NoReally
Summary: 'I need you to know this incase I don't come back one time. Incase one second we're hot and kissing and the next I'm cold and motionless.'


**A/N: Hey guys. So this is just a short one** **shot** **, set a few years after the main series. Enjoy!**

* * *

Moving house is always a horrible process and for someone like Ymir, packing just pissed her off. She entered her bedroom and flung open the wardrobe, tossing clothes into a pile on her bed, not taking care in where they landed. She bent over and threw the shoes lying along the bottom out into a box she had left out earlier.

'There,' she said, 'I think that's enough hard word for today'.

She was about to turn away when a small wooden box in the corner of the wardrobe caught her eye. Hesitantly, she picked it up and eyed it carefully.

Carved in to the wood were the words _Memory Box._ She traced her fingers across the letters before lifting the lid. Inside the box were odd bits of paper, small pin badges and a scout uniform patch, cut from a jacket. However, there was one thing not like the others; It was a large brown envelope, edges worn with age. Hesitantly she turned it over to find it addressed to her. She carefully open it to find a neatly folded letter. She opened it up.

 _Reasons I love you:_

 _1\. I love your dark brown eyes_

 _2\. I love your tanned skin_

 _3\. I love your confidence_

 _4\. The way you made me feel like somebody actually cared about me when I first left home_

 _5\. The way you comforted Jean in secret just after Marco died and you thought I didn't know_

 _6\. The way I had to stand on my tip toes when we would hug after a mission and the way you held me so tight my feet lifted off of the ground slightly. The way you'd pull away after and make some stupid joke about 'copping a feel' but I_ _could_ _see the relief in your eyes_

 _7\. Those shitty pick up lines_

 _8\. The first time your showed me your vulnerable side_

 _9\. When you first told me you were gay_

 _10\. That time I knew you were looking at my butt, so I wiggled it slightly, only to turn around to see you blushing and refusing to make eye contact_

 _11\. The hint of fear in your eyes the first time you leaned down and kissed me and how your lips were soft, despite their appearance_

 _12\. The way we snuck around when we first got together_

 _13\. The first time you kissed me in front of the others, after getting jealous of the way they looked at me, and the grin you had on your face as you pulled away_

 _14\. How scared my feelings for you made me_

 _15\. When we danced together without any music_

 _16\. How I fell in love with your personality and not your gender_

 _17\. The first 'I love you'_

 _18\. How we waited till we were both ready_

 _19\. The freckles under your clothes how you let me kiss every single one of them_

 _20\. The first time we had sex and all the other times after_

 _21\. The way you touch and tease_

 _22\. The way you pull on my hair when you get too into it_

 _23\. The way you kiss, lick and worship my breasts_

 _24\. The way you place one of your hands in the centre of my chest before tracing down with a single finger, stopping just before my point of pleasure_

 _25\. The way you look up and smirk before burying your head deep between my legs_

 _26\. Your fingers in my folds_

 _27\. Your face when you're turned on_

 _28\. The way your face relaxes after you cum and all your bravado disappears_

 _29\. Lying on your chest after sex_

 _30\. The way you stare at my body as we dress, like it's the last time you will ever see it again_

 _31\. The fact you will never let anyone tare us apart_

 _32\. How we make each other better people_

 _33\. Looking after each other when we get sick_

 _34\. The underlying power in your hands_

 _35\. Showering together_

 _36\. Multiple orgasms_

 _37\. How wet you make me_

 _38\. The way I touch myself when you're not there_

 _39\. The way you know my body like it were your own_

 _40\. Our size difference_

 _41\. Your smell_

 _42\. Your taste_

 _43\. Sex when we're laughing_

 _44\. Quickly changing the sheets so no one could ever find out about the 'squirting incident'_

 _45\. That smile you get and the glint of mischief that appears in your eyes when you're up to something_

 _46\. The time you wore your straps and nothing else_

 _47\. Trying out new positions_

 _48\. When you let me take control_

 _49\. Our angry make up sex and our sensual love making_

 _50\. Just holding each other_

 _51\. When we would just sit and you would brush my hair_

 _52\. How I can't imagine life without you_

 _53\. The way you've never stopped being you for anyone_

 _54\. The way you always want to protect me_

 _55\. The way you get jealous at the way others look at me_

 _56\. The way you call me yours_

 _57\. Lying in the grass and staring at the clouds with you_

 _58\. When you mumble my name in your sleep_

 _59\. When you scream my name in pleasure_

 _60\. The way you protect me when I feel weak but then push me up, into the light, to be stronger than I ever could be alone._

 _61\. The_ _butterflies_ _I still get in my stomach everytime I see you_

 _62\. The way I know I can never stop loving you even if I wanted to_

 _63\. The way I never would_

 _64\. How you helped me become me_

 _65\. How you helped me let go_

 _66\. How much you changed my life_

 _67\. The way I know you will be my last thought_

 _68\. How just being friends could have never been enough_

 _But most of all, I love you, Ymir. The way your hair flashes in the light when you move. The way I can join up the freakles on your face to make little picture in my head. The way I can have you the way nobody else ever can._

 _I need you to know this incase I don't come back one time. Incase one second we're hot and kissing and the next I'm cold and motionless._

 _I know that you already know all this but I couldn't let myself die with any doubt in my mind._

 _I want you to know that I would follow you to the end of the Earth and I want us to get married and have a family some day._

 _Every time we go out on a mission, I place this letter under your pillow and I will keep doing it for as long as we live in this hell we call home. Remember that I will always love you in life and in death and nobody can take that away from us._

 _I am forever yours,_

 _Christa Xxx_

Ymir stroked her hand along the letter and shut her eyes. She could imagine Christa's hand moving across the page as she wrote the words that had touched Ymir in a way that she didn't think were possible. She put a hand to her face. She was not surprised to find it damp.

She looked up and across the room to an elaborate silver frame. Inside it was their wedding photo. They looked so happy on that day. She could hear Christa's laugh, piercing through the veil of time, as if she was in that moment. She wished she was. Her eye was drawn to the next frame over. In it was a picture of Christa, her and their baby girl. They had adopted their first child a year after their wedding because Christa had said that 'no child deserves to grow up feeling alone and unloved'. Two years after that, they had adopted twin boys and another two after that, another baby girl.

Ymir loved their children so much, but was glad they were all at school. She needed some time alone.

She folder the paper carefully and placed it in her pocket, before walking slowly from their bedroom, shutting the door carefully behind her. She continued. Strolling down the hall, dragging her hand across the wall, trying to feel every memory in their house. She wanted to run from room to room and call out her lover's name but she could't, she just collapsed and sat on the floor and the centre of the hall. That's when the silent tears came and she curled up into a protective ball.

'I can't even comprehend how shit my life would have been without you' she whispered, reaching into her pocket to retrieve the neatly folded letter.

She lay it out on the floor in front of her and just stared at it. She didn't know for how long, time never does run like it should. She wiped a shaky hand under her eyes and stood up. She bend down to pick up the letter and when she stood back up, she was staring into a pair of bright blue eyes.

She didn't even think, she just grabbed her wife and spun her round before kissing her as hard and with as much love and feeling as she could muster. 'I am so lucky to have you' she said, cupping her wife's cheek with her empty hand.

'What's brought this on?' Christa said smiling.

Ymir just looked down at the letter. Christa just followed her gaze, eventually taking the letter from her hand and reading it.

'I didn't even know I still had this' Christa said as she stared at the paper, here smile fading. There was a pause. 'I was so sure I was going to die' she added, looking back up into Ymir's gaze.

'Well, I'm glad you didn't' Ymir said, laughing awkwardly, her voice till horse from the crying.

A small sob escaped Christa's lips and Ymir just pulled her in and hugged her in the way she had said she liked in the letter, lifting her into the air slightly.

Ymir turned her head slightly, to whisper in her wife's ear, 'the girl in that letter was scared but you don't have to worry about that any more, because we're here. We made it' Ymir whispered, 'I love past you, present you and future you and that's all that matters. We have each other, and our kids, and I couldn't be happier'.

And with that, she lifted Christa into the bridal position and carried her to their room. The just lay on their bed for hours, reminiscing about the good and the bad in their past. And as they laughed and cried, Ymir couldn't think of anywhere else she would rather be.


End file.
